Everyday PR

Recent Facebook changes (all of which I define as a huge TMI dump) can backfire on some users.  Don’t say you weren’t warned.  Mashable blog explains.

I just can’t take it anymore. Stick a fork in this relationship because I am done. Please don’t act surprised.  Surely you saw this coming; our relationship has been lopsided ever since we got engaged. It just seems like I’m making all the effort – I give and give and give, and you take and take and take.  You know so much more about me than I’ll ever know about you. Your never-ending desire to micromanage everything about me has run its course. 

I don’t know what happened. At first, our relationship was exciting. I was more than willing to share the details of my world with you. If you asked for more, I gave you more. If you suggested pictures, I went along with it. Pretty soon, I was open to entire electronic photo albums.  I haven’t updated my countless shoe boxes of pre-digital prints since Y2K, yet I took the time to create, crop, edit, write and tag several albums because you kept nagging me about it.

In the beginning, I was okay with all the games – Farmville, Cityville, Frontierville, and the list goes on. Even though I didn’t want to play, you threw it in my face every time any of our friends played. I almost lost it when you pushed the “send hearts/hugs/flowers/smiles/desserts” and other useless crap on me, but at least you let me decide about whether or not to participate.  

And then, you wanted to know where I was and who I was with. At first, the interest seemed flattering until I realized that your push to know my whereabouts and the company I kept was just another attempt at control and a huge time drain for me.

Speaking of company, I remember when you used to be fine with my choice of friends. Then you started “suggesting” friends for me as if I couldn’t make good choices.  Maybe your suggestions were because of that creepy ex-boyfriend and a few others I had to cut off, but I wrongly thought that meant you cared. 

Or maybe your actions were because you completely redefined the meaning of “friend”; your idea of a friend meant anyone from an acquaintance to the high school freak to the store cashier, pretty much anyone with a pulse. I don’t care how popular you are, nobody has thousands of what I call “friends”.  And then you wanted to decide which friends I should hear from?!  Don’t you think that’s just a little too controlling?  Maybe not, but I found your behavior to be quite the turn-off.

The final straw was this week’s attempt to determine what I would find interesting. Seriously? It’s like the Steven Covey organizational system, which is nothing but a flawed organizational process developed by men to help keep men organized while women have been multi-tasking for centuries without a three-ring binder or expensive seminars.  

Do you actually think you can read my mind?  Worse, do you think I’m incapable of making such determinations?  Either way, it’s insulting and yet another time drain for me.

So Facebook, I’m breaking up. It’s over.  Don’t contact me; I’ll contact you. And no, we can’t just be friends.

UPDATE:  May 15, 2011 – And the pain (mostly self inflicted) of Burson Marsteller continues with more being thrown under the bus.  Wired summarizes latest injuries.

May 13, 2011 – This week’s boondoggle by heavy hitter Burson Marsteller does not exemplify all public relations agencies and should not be considered standard practice.  The agency, recently hired by Facebook, was busted by a reporter after an agency rep tried to bash privacy features of a new product by Google without disclosing client name. 

And then the reporter publicly bashed the agency rep by publishing their email exchange despite the standard confidential disclaimer placed on said correspondence.

And then Burson Marsteller issued a statement  that bashed Facebook’s confidentiality requirement, saying said the agency should never have agreed to such and that the relationship was over.  In other words, everybody threw everybody else under the bus.  No virtual Cup of Joe for any of the parties involved with this one, and I can only hope that it’s not too crowded or too painful under that bus.

The virtual Cup of Joe Award from EveryDayPR spotlights our pick of the week for a public relations performance –  good, bad or ugly.  If you’d like to make a nomination, contact shart@hartpr.com or www.Twitter.com/susanhartpr.

In 1970, the federal Witness Protection Program began as part of the newly implemented RICO statutes (think organized crime, informants, etc.).  In 2010, a colleague proposed a new type of witness protection program, this time for Facebook.

The comment came on the heels of Facebook announcing yet another new design featurefor member profiles, just when some of us baby boomers were getting used to the one we were using.  In fact, much of the group discussion focused on whether or not we’d post all this never-before-capsulated information on the world wide web if we could get a re-do.  One person had trashed all his previous e-mail addresses, account information, profile details and just started completely over on all things digital. Another was chastised by a friend saying his “Facebook had died”, and the guy’s response was along the lines of “I’ll revive it after I finish my 10-hour workday, run an errand on the way home, grab some dinner, pay attention to my wife and three kids, do a little paperwork and crash into bed.”  He was the one who suggested a ”Witness Protection Program” for Facebook that would return social media users to the more private life they vaguely, but longingly, recalled before words like Web 2.0 and social media became a part of our vocabulary.

I’m not sure if the issue is one of time, technology and/or return on investment.  Let’s face it:  After you’ve reconnected with your high school buddies and discussed your location, occupation and family, that pretty much wraps up that investigation.  If you were that close to them in school, you wouldn’t need Facebook to reconnect as you already were regularly getting together for tailgate parties. 

And what about the people who ask you to “friend them” so they can reach their goal of 1,000 friends?  Seriously? Makes me feel used. Then there’s the never-ending game players who apparently don’t have enough to do.  And let’s not forget those Facebookers who are habitual joiners and likers of every off-the-wall groups like “People who like to sleep with one foot off the bed”,  “Months with an ‘R’ in them”, or “I like to chew mainly on my right side”.  It’s just  TMI – no, TMWI – too much worthless information.

Admittedly, I’m on Facebook as I occasionally feel the need to spew my discontent, share something newsworthy or just send out a warm and fuzzy with others.  I do enjoy the engagement, the entertainment and the educational value it brings to me. Could I live the rest of my life without Facebook? Sure. Do I think Facebook and/or some type of derivative platform is here to stay? Absolutely. Do I want to be a part of a witness protection program and just start over or not at all? Sometimes.  I’ll get back to you around midnight, when I’m done for the day.

If you could do things differently with Facebook, would you?  Would you want to ever join a witness protection program?

With today’s news about Facebook privacy, I shudder to think about the steps I have taken to jeopardize my own privacy.  I consider myself to have average technical knowledge – just enough to be dangerous.  But it’s that average level of intelligence that I fear most and that I wish I could undo some things in cyberspace. 

Be young, be foolish, but don't be posting this for public consumption.

A few learning opportunities that might be helpful to others include:

*   Established a secondary e-mail address on something like G-mail.

*   Use that e-mail address for electronic purchases.

*   Here’s a thought:  don’t buy anything over the Internet.  Couldn’t work for me since I detest shopping.

*   Give serious attention and time to things like Privacy Settings.

*   If a phone number is required, give a fake one or an old one.  Same thought regarding e-mail address. Don’t know if that would work, but why not try?

*   Reconsider the whole social media situation, especially from a personal perspective.  Some updates just fall in the “TMI” category.  I only want the “Need to Know” updates. And what’s up with men from my past turning into public broadcasters of all things emotional, a la Alan Alda, when I remember them as total jerkwads, but I digress.

*   In regard to Facebook, if you post your most recent PAR-TAH photos and define your interests as “I like to party and have fun”, you’ve given up your privacy, alienated yourself from any serious job offers and embarrassed your parents.  Of course, I’m just grateful that this technology wasn’t around when I was a lot younger.

*   Invest in the most sophisticated spam filters available.

*   Get a Mac.

What other technical things would you do differently or recommend?

Nothing like the Vice President of the country causing more panic about a yet-to-occur pandemic.  A Pandemic Alert Level 5 yes; a need to close schools and major modes of transportation, no.  Contradicting the more restrained statements made by President Obama last night, Biden may need to restrict his comments to subjects he’s more familiar with before administering medical advice.

http://swampland.blogs.time.com/2009/04/30/way-to-go-joe/

POSTED APRIL 29, 2009:

Since the current pandemic fears relate to a never-before-seen combination of human, swine and bird viruses, a Facebook friend wonders just how long it will be before pigs actually fly. 

This little piggy is affecting the market.

Flying pigs or not, the 24/7 media coverage on the swine flu is enough to make anybody sick.  To add to the mix, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services today issued a checklist for large businesses to follow in the event of a pandemic.  Wait just a minute.  Not to underestimate the potential dangers of a virus, but let’s keep things in perspective here.  According to the World Health Organization, the flu kills 250,000 to 500,000 people every year, with or without a pandemic.  NOTE TO PRODUCERS: Do the math, and plan your news coverage accordingly.

The mere mention of the swine flu also affected the stock market for certain industries. Cruise operator Carnival and Delta Air Lines both fell 14 percent on Monday. Shares of Tyson Foods-the country’s biggest meat producer-dropped 12 percent.  NOTE TO INVESTORS: Are you seriously not aware of repeated episodes of missing passengers, food poisoning and plane crashes?

Some school systems have issued swine flu advisories to parents. Better to be safe than sorry, I suppose, but where was the advisory to parents about the dangers of high fat and processed foods? NOTE TO EDUCATORS: The less panicked a child is, the happier the parent.

As public relations professionals, we’re skilled in acknowledgement, not obsession.   We also recognize that the Nielson ratings sweeps began April 23.  Expect a swine flu reality show by May 20, last day of sweeps.

From our desks high atop a parking lot, we found the following types of Facebook users to be the most popular in these parts. 

10) The Martyrs – They wonder why their friends ignore them. We’ll get back to you after you’ve upped your meds.

9)     The Braggers – Obsessed with the need to share, these users reveal details of their trips to Gstaad, Daytona Raceway or the new SuperTarget. Everybody knows bragging when they see it. Don’t make me hide you.

8)        The Picture People – Bless their hearts, these people actually think their friends are going to view all 427 pictures in one of their 238 different photo albums, from their 2002 Family-Only Christmas to the birth of a new farm animal.  Learn to be selective.  Besides, your visuals are taking up way too much space.

7)   The Gifters – I think so much of you that I sent you a virtual gift. It proves my virtual love for you, my virtual friend. All 786 of you.

6)   The TMIers – Thanks to these “Too Much Informationers”, we all know what they eat (sometimes we even get photos!!), when they have a zit, what their child just upchucked and what color it was.  Trust me, no one – including your real-life human friends – wants to know that much about your life.  

5)   The Philosophers – I post Status Updates, therefore I am. No, really, I am. 

4)   The Best Friends Forevers – How many confirmed users are really your friends?  If you didn’t talk to them in high school, why are you talking to them now? 

3)   The Pick Me Firsters – These are the folks who want to be the first to post breaking news.  If it weren’t for these posters, I know I would be dumber.

2)         The Quizinators – “What shade of taupe are you?”, “What type of 3/16″ metal screw are you?”, or “If you were an Excel chart, how many columns would you have?”.  How about the “If you had a life without FB quizzes, would you want to live?” quiz?  NOTE: See The Picture People regarding courteous use of space.

And the Top Face of Facebook…..

1)      The Shameless Self Promoters – I do it. You do it.  All God’s children do it. We promote our latest products, services, fundraisers, special events, etc.  If you can’t shake down your friends, who can you shake down?  Besides, we just know everyone wants to read our stuff.