Everyday PR

This year promises to be historic on a number of levels. From the economy and the White House to healthcare reform and the Middle East. And if you don’t think those broad topics will affect you on a personal level, think again.

In fact, I challenge you to not only think, but to do the unexpected. This is an election year. (Pause now for collective groan in anticipation of the tasteless, baseless and graceless political ads to start). Instead of whining about the ads, the candidates and the pundits, feed your mind with knowledge.

Pick up a book in your choice of format, and start reading it. (I’m reading the six-volume series on World War I and am fascinated by what one might consider a dry subject.) If you’re really looking for something to read, become the 10th person (assuming all the U.S. Supreme Court Judges do so) to read the entire PPACA, aka healthcare reform, and position yourself as an expert.

If you’re not into reading, try audio books. I promise they’re better than talk radio and much less stressful. If you plan to improve your financial situation or make your vote really count this year, do some audio research on those topics to make more informed decisions. And don’t even use cost as an excuse; that’s why there are public libraries, one of the most underrated use of our tax dollars.

If you must watch that big flat screen noise box taking up insane amounts of space in your home (admittedly, I have one and am addicted to pretty much anything food or football related), try watching something non-mainstream. I’m not talking about some premium channel drama that borders on obscene or some cable trash, but interesting programming on The Learning Channel or Discovery. If those kinds of network names don’t grab you, consider The Hallmark Channel for warm and fuzzies, or TVLand for mindless entertainment, but stay away from Lifetime as much of its programming reflects our overly dysfunctional society, and you can watch the local news for that.

The point is to counteract the “garbage in, garbage out” mindset of which too many Americans are guilty.  So what if your pop culture IQ is at the bottom. What difference is it going to make if you don’t watch every political debate and subsequent mud slinging? How bad is it to miss the finale of yet another crime drama?

Feeding our minds by reading and watching interesting programming are only two of countless unexpected behaviors that would be historical in and of itself. I challenge everyone, including myself, to reduce our mental garbage in 2012. Let’s give decision makers and news makers something to worry about.

I’ve been looking for the perfect holiday message. Thanks to a good friend and fellow traveler for sending this to my attention as it serves
that perfect purpose.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,
In a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.

I had come down the chimney, with presents to give,
and to see just who in this home did live.

I looked all about, a strange sight I did see,
No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.

No stocking by the mantle, just boots filled with sand
On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.

With medals and badges, awards of all kinds,
A sober thought came through my mind.

For this house was different, it was dark and dreary
I found the home of a soldier, once I could see clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone,
Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.

The face was so gentle, the room in such disorder
Not how I pictured a United States soldier.

Was this the hero of whom I’d just read,
Curled up on a poncho, the floor for a bed?

I realized the families that I saw this night,
Owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight.

Soon round the world the children would play,
And grownups would celebrate a bright Christmas Day.

They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year,
Because of the soldiers like the one lying here.

I couldn’t help wonder, how many lay alone,
On a cold Christmas Eve in a land far from home.

The very thought brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees and started to cry.

The soldier awakened, and I heard a rough voice,
‘Santa, don’t cry, this life is my choice.

I fight for freedom, I don’t ask for more,
My life is my God, my country, my corps.’

The soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep,
And I couldn’t control it, I continued to weep.

I kept watch for hours, so silent and still,
And we both shivered from the cold night’s chill.

I didn’t want to leave on that cold, dark night,
This guardian of honor so willing to fight.

Then the soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and pure,
Whispered, ‘Carry on, Santa, It’s Christmas Day, all is secure.’

One look at my watch, and I knew he was right,
‘Merry Christmas, my friend, and to all a good night!’

This poem was written by a Marine. If you enjoyed it, please pass along to your family and friends as credit is due to members of the military for our being able to celebrate this Holiday Season.

UPDATE:  Casey Anthony sentenced to four years in jail with credit for time served and $1,000 per count for lying to police.

July 6, 2011: The Casey Anthony trial was one of justice, not emotion, and I, for one, am relieved about that.  I’m NOT saying the woman is innocent; what I am saying is that if we were judged for making stupid decisions, acting inappropriately or having a dysfunctional family, we’d all be behind bars.

There are no winners in the Casey Anthony trial, including her. She’ll be forever branded as the party Mom who may have gotten away with murder.  Nobody but her and “little Caylee”, as the media subjectively dubbed her from the beginning, know what crimes, if any, were committed. I don’t know if the state totally or partially failed to prove its case. Who knows why no mention of a drowning accident was ever made in the last three years?  I’m not sure if harping on family dynamics was a good thing as you might explain why a person is way she is, but not offering definitive evidence as to the how part. And it’s anybody’s guess why that guy in the audience chose to flip off the prosecutor? 

Again, I’m NOT saying Casey Anthony is innocent of offenses other than lying and making bad choices.  I wasn’t there. I didn’t hear and see everything the jury did.  It’s just a tiny comfort to me to know that the court system may have worked as designed if decisions are to continue to be based on facts, and not feelings.

I don’t gush at weddings; I don’t tear up at ads for starving children; and the only reason I might cry at movies is because I think they’ll never end (The English Patient, Titanic, etc.)  But the flood gates open the second I hear about someone who has served our country in an unimaginable way. 

Meet Army Staff Sergeant Bobby Henlin whose courage goes far deeper than his permanently disfigured burns he suffered when his Humvee hit a roadside bomb in Iraq. On his fourth tour there and the only survivor of five soldiers with him that day, Bobby has turned his tragedy into comedy and in his words, “can help way more people that that bomber will ever hurt”. Pass the tissues.

Thanks to Bobby and all the past and present heroes of our Armed Forces this Memorial Day for ensuring our freedom through the good, the bad and the beauty of their sacrifices.  May the true purpose of this day never be forgotten.

Winter’s officially here which means more reading opportunities for most of us, and for us writers, that reading will make us better at our craft.  Before I can focus on future reading, here are some little known facts that I learned this fall while reading Click by Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman, Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer, Donnie Brasco: Unfinished Business by Joe Pistone and Cocaine: An Unauthorized Biography by Dominic Streatfeild.  I’ll also give my usual warning of I only read non-fiction.

Johnny Depp wasn't the first choice to play George Jung.

*  In 1992, strategists for Bill Clinton launched “The Manhattan Project”, a strategy to show his vulnerable side via talk shows, including MTV.  The strategy revealed the power of self disclosure, resulting in a connection with voters and favorability ratings of 71 percent. 

* In 2004, four young men were credited with the Florida Gators’ first national basketball championship in decades due to their communication, understanding of one another and connection with each other they gained while living together.  Experts credit the university’s arbitrary housing placement system for the sports win.  Behaviorists say it’s because they clicked.

*  The likelihood of clicking significantly increases with someone the closer you are in proximity to them (think alpha order in grade school).

*  An example of the seduction of similarity and how it changes:  At a high school reunion, people recall previous similarities, experiences, feelings, etc.  But as we age, we theoretically change over time.  (This explains why I often have difficulty clicking with former classmates. One of us has changed, and it’s not them.)

* Mormonism is the fastest growing faith in the Western Hemisphere. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints presents itself as the world’s only true religion.

*  Utah County has the highest birth rate in this country; it also is the most Republican county in the most Republican state in the nation.

*  In 1915, Utah became the first state in the Union to criminalize marijuana as church officials were concerned of its use among members.  Apparently polygamists developed a fondness for cannabis while living in Mexico to escape federal prosecution for their lifestyle.

*  The name of Donnie Brasco, the fictitious name given to undercover FBI agent Joe Pistone, became a law enforcement term in its own right.  Post 9/11, one  news commentator, and later CIA Director George Tenet, remarked that what America needed to fight terrorism is a “Donnie Brasco, someone to infiltrate Al Queda.” 

*  Prior to Johnny Depp being cast as a true-life Mafia infiltrator, Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, John Cusak and Nicholas Cage were considered.

*  The Witness Protection Program was created in 1970 as part of the RICO statute as an incentive to get convicted wiseguys to turn and testify against others. The program is administered by the U.S. Marshals and remains effective today.

*  The first cocaine addict was Sigmund Freud’s colleague Ernst von Fleischl-Marxow.

*   At the height of his cocaine trafficking career, George Jung (think Johnny Depp in Blow) was making a half million dollars a week, tax free.

*   Testimony given by medical experts in 1979 to a Congressional Committee repeatedly warned of the dangers of cocaine to forestall an epidemic. The advice went unheeded, contributing to the predicted epidemic.

What are you reading in the new year?

It’s that time of year when many of us start to size up whether or not 2010 was a good or bad year for us.  Because I turned 50 this year, I haven’t yet made up my mind.  I used to think 50 was so old as in practically dead. Considering I’ve never felt better, I’m blessed beyond my wildest dreams, and I’m surrounded by all kinds of amazing people and canines, I’ve changed my mind.  Fifty doesn’t make you old; it makes you wiser.  To help others come to this state of zen at any age, here are 50 lessons, in no particular order, from a born-and-reared Southern girl that can surely make the aging process easier for others.  Learn from me. 

Laugh at yourself and then tell somebody about it.

1)  Live life to its fullest.

2)  Make up is optional.  If it takes more than five minutes, change your routine or get surgery as there’s no time to waste.

3)  You can’t take it with you.

4)  Regularity cannot be overrated.

5)  Life is all about choices, some good and some not-so-good; hence, life is all about consequences based upon the choices we make.

6)   Pay attention to people older than you.  They’re usually wiser for a reason.

7)   Humility cannot be overrated.

8)   Don’t let your temper get the best of you.

9)   Refrain from making too many emotional-based decisions, especially regarding business, investments and some relationships.

10) Associate with successful professionals of good moral character.

11)  Get as much education as you possibly can.

12)  Take care of your body.

13)  When, not if, your significant other leaves his underwear or other-type items on the floor, DO NOT pick them up.  I don’t care if you have to remodel around them, do not clean up after another adult’s mess.

14)  There’s no gene or specific DNA for unloading dishwasher, doing laundry or grocery shopping. Of course, if you want it done right…

15)  Men are lousy patients.

16)  A man’s relationship with his hair is sacred. Although receding hairlines, balding spots and combovers are lip-biting visuals, save your laughter for his next lukewarm joke.  A man’s relationship with his perceived sense of humor also is sacred.  Two birds – one stone.

17)  Read. Read anything and everything.  I don’t care if it’s just a beer label.  Work your way up to regularly reading all kinds of things to expand your mind.  Bonus tip:  Get a library card, and take advantage of one of the government’s best kept secrets.

18)  Don’t buy new cars; buy used cars of good quality and keep them.

19)  Don’t buy whole life insurance.

20)  Understand that it doesn’t matter what people think of you as long as you know that you’re doing the right thing.

21)   Don’t lock yourself out of a vacation rental late at night.

22)  Vote.

23)   Laugh at yourself.  Then tell someone why you laughed at yourself.

24)   A good set of cookware should last a lifetime.  Invest the money.

25)   If you have trouble with commitments, try baby steps, like commiting to the same brand of shampoo and conditioner. 

26)   Do something unexpected (not stupid) to keep life exciting and challenging.  Learn a new language, take up kickboxing, try Ethiopian food…

27)  Pray, and not just when you’re desperate or on the Sabbath.  Pray and praise every day.

28)   Be true to yourself. DO NOT do anything for another person if you don’t want to because you’re trying to impress him or her.  I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane to do that and almost died.  The parachute malfunctioned as did the relationship.

29)  If you want to start making your own clothes, do not use plaid fabric on the first try.

30)  Get a pet.  In fact, get several pets.  And get them from the Humane Society or a rescue organization.

31)   Do not try to walk in downtown Manhattan or Chicago in really high heels.

32)  Unless you’re blessed with such skills, do not attempt to fix your own plumbing or electrical wiring.  It’s just not pretty.

33)  Save as much money as you possibly can.

34)  Give as much money as you possibly can.

35)  Volunteer.  Not having enough time isn’t an acceptable excuse.

36)  The single best purchase for your hair is a fine-toothed comb for less than $1.00.

37)  Don’t cry at work; unless it’s from laughter, don’t be known as the office hormone.

38)  Study up on gravity; understand the physics of what makes a young, smiley face a mature, pissed off face.  That way, when it happens, you’ll be ready.

39) “What are you thinking?” fell by the wayside YEARS ago.  I don’t care what you’re thinking.

40)  Life is too short to waste time with toxic people. 

41)   Consider your environment as you can become a product of it, good or bad.

42)  Know your audience.

43)  Just because someone said something doesn’t mean it’s true.  Think for yourself, and form your own opinions.

44)  Just because you want it doesn’t mean God wants you to have it.

45)  I don’t care how old my carpet is – why should you?

46)  Learn to balance your life – call me if you need advice.

47)   Accommodate – it’s not all about you.

48)   Forgive – easier said than done.

49)   If you insist on watching television, try the History Channel or I Love Lucy.

50)  Master the art of listening; embrace the prospect of change; and anticipate new lessons learned.

What would you add to this list of lessons that you have experienced?

Some of the smartest people I know can be so stupid.  Like the academic professors who couldn’t navigate their way out of a paper bag. Or the surgeons who cut on people all day and then pig out on fat-laden red meat every night.  Or the corporate ladder women/new moms who smoke to lose the baby weight they gained in recent months.  As today is the 35th annual Great American Smokeout, do yourself and the rest of us a favor by quitting the habit.    

Smoking caused this apartment fire. Try quitting today.

Consider this:

*   A “light” smoker of just 1/2 pack daily spends about $1,000 a year on the habit.  Do you know how much you can do with that amount of money? What if you’re one of those pack-a-dayer people?

*   Children living in apartment buildings who have smoking neighbors but no smokers in their unit have double the level of cotinine, a remnant of metabolized nicotine.  I’m no scientist, but that can’t be good. 

*   Several statewide studies show that as many as 78% of apartment tenants, including smokers, would choose to live in a smoke-free complex.  Geez, if a smoker would rather live in a cleaner, greener environment, what does that say?  

*   Smoking is a leading cause of house fires and the number one cause of fire deaths in this country.  You might think that a  no-smoking clause in the lease would be a no-brainer for landlords, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. I recently heard about an apartment manager who evicted longtime tenants because they asked that steps be taken to eliminate, or at least minimize, the air ventilation system that allowed secondhand cigarette smoke to encroach their unit from that of a human chimney living below them.  To add insult to that injury, the evicted tenant was a recent cancer survivor.

*   The EPA has identified secondhand smoke as a Class A carcinogen, the most toxic class of chemicals known to cause cancer in humans. 

We could talk about the rights, the merits and the manners of smoking all day long.  But just for today, be smart about smoking, and try not to light up for your sake and those around you.

Remember the one homeowner in your neighborhood that was always a stick-in-the-mud on Halloween?  The house with no lights on, tin foil over the doorbell or a note on the front door that said “We’re Not Home”.  Well, we’re THAT homeowner. In a matter of hours, hubby will break out the yellow crime scene tape to wrap around our front yard on garden stakes to try and keep trick-or-treaters from walking on his newly seeded lawn.  The tape, initially, misunderstood as a sign that someone inside was just found with an axe in their head, is an ongoing attempt to keep up property values in this terrible housing market. Yes, we’re Halloween scrooges. 

As I’ve stated in previous blogs, I don’t have or even know any children. However, as a former child, I do remember dressing up like a ballerina for one Halloween, so I’m not totally oblivious to costumes.  Is Halloween all about giving free candy to a bunch of children – and some really old-looking children - followed by subsequent dental bills?  I know the day began out of superstition and tradition, but it just seems to have evolved into yet another commercialized way to get people to spend money.  On the other hand, in today’s economy, maybe pretending to be someone or something you aren’t is a good thing. While I’ll avoid smearing those homeowners who decorate with chainsaws, zombies, graveyards and blood,  I just wonder what children are learning from today’s Halloween rituals.  

Am I missing something, or are we past the point of no return?  You tell me!

By now, most of you know I’m a card-carrying member of the public library.  And if you’re not taking advantage of one of the best public services this country has to offer, change your behavior immediately.  Without these latest library finds - Nuts by Kevin & Jackie Freiberg; Captive by Jere Van Dyk; and The Finer Points of Sausage Dogs by Alexander McCall Smith, I would be unaware of the following factoids and/or interesting writings:

A small example of the finer points of a sausage dog.

*   Southwest Airline’s employee turnover rate is approximately 6.4 percent annually.

*   One of Southwest’s philosophies is an environment in which childlike curiosity and enthusiasm are emphasized.  The company believes that learning is a way of life (so do I, but they didn’t ask me).

*   Among its mantras, Southwest believes in getting people involved at an emotional level; take the competition seriously, but not yourself; and employees come first, then customers.

*  The highest tenets of Pashtun include hospitality, honor and blood vengeance, which completely contradicts the Koran’s command that a man must not kill another Muslim.

*  Under Pashtunwali, you are killed if you elope, and a woman is killed if it is rumored that she is an adulteress.

*  Common food for Taliban prisoners is rice, raisins, goat meat and green tea.

*  In some areas of Pakistan, kidneys sell for $50,000; femoral arteries for $80,000.  The younger the donor (volunteer or not), the better.

*  Smith’s Sausage Dog, a quick fiction read, illustrates a case of mistaken identity and the pride of a German linguist who refuses to admit that he’s not a renowned and recently deceased German veterinarian.  When approached by someone who had read the late doctor’s obit, the linguist claims that German media often publish obits before people actually die as an efficient way to avoid a backlog.

*  As the linguist continues to deny the error and drunkenly serves as the keynote speaker for a canine conference in Fayetteville, AR, with these opening remarks: “The sausage dog differs from other dogs in respect to its shape which is like that of a sausage.  The dog belongs to the genus of dogs marked by their proximity to the ground. In most cases, this is because of the shortness of the legs.  If a dog has short legs, we have found that the body is almost invariably close to the ground.”

See, reading can be informative and fun.  What are some fun reads for you this fall?

Hubby and I recently had the privilege of spending 10 glorious days at Baranof Lodge in Southeast Alaska, a once-in-a-lifetime adventure highly recommended if you’re interested in a sensory experience that will exceed your expectations, if you need a reality check that not all is wrong with the world, if you want the kind of sleep that’s barely one level above comatose, and if you embrace nature, new things and fine cuisine. 

Spectacular view of a brown bear in search of a fish dinner.

Neither of us had ever been to the 49th state, only one of us had previously fished, and both of us regarded whales as overrated subjects for children’s movies.  Boy were we surprised to the point of near nirvana.  Following are high points of our trip, which can best be described as a series of life lessons about priorities, challenges, rewards and relationships.

*  A group –  from about 10 different states – that eats, hikes, fishes, relaxes, laughs, relaxes and celebrates together gets to know each other.  The camaraderie was amazing.

* Catching your first fish - or by the end of the week, your first fish of the day - and still feeling your heart skip a beat.

* Eating homemade pie made with wild blueberries picked just hours before.

* Watching young bears clumsily catch salmon in streams was like watching puppies who haven’t yet grown into their paws. 

* Feeling your eyeballs get wider and wider as you observe sleek humpback whales glistening, spouting, breaching and gliding through the ocean.

*  Beach combing on a deserted island picking over everything from microphones and mushrooms to barnacles and bones.

*  Hearing towering waterfalls, cooing ravens, growling sea lions and whispering white caps.

*  Sitting in 102-degree hot springs as geothermally heated by volcanoes while being mesmerized by bald eagles flying overhead.

*  Feeling the professional touch of a massage therapist to smooth out any muscle stress and tension – not that you would have any after spending time here.

*  Eating perfectly prepared, freshly caught dungeness crab from  a dock you can see from the table.

*  Hiking in the most luscious moss-covered floors of a forest soaking in the thousand different shades of green while snacking on wild raspberries

*  Realizing that, in nature, every creature seems to get along sharing the same space and resources.  Not every creature survives, but it’s not because of anything negative or self-induced from their heart or mind.  We can all learn from that.

For more photos and a great video, check out my Facebook page.

Enjoy!