Everyday PR

Nothing like the Vice President of the country causing more panic about a yet-to-occur pandemic.  A Pandemic Alert Level 5 yes; a need to close schools and major modes of transportation, no.  Contradicting the more restrained statements made by President Obama last night, Biden may need to restrict his comments to subjects he’s more familiar with before administering medical advice.

http://swampland.blogs.time.com/2009/04/30/way-to-go-joe/

POSTED APRIL 29, 2009:

Since the current pandemic fears relate to a never-before-seen combination of human, swine and bird viruses, a Facebook friend wonders just how long it will be before pigs actually fly. 

This little piggy is affecting the market.

Flying pigs or not, the 24/7 media coverage on the swine flu is enough to make anybody sick.  To add to the mix, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services today issued a checklist for large businesses to follow in the event of a pandemic.  Wait just a minute.  Not to underestimate the potential dangers of a virus, but let’s keep things in perspective here.  According to the World Health Organization, the flu kills 250,000 to 500,000 people every year, with or without a pandemic.  NOTE TO PRODUCERS: Do the math, and plan your news coverage accordingly.

The mere mention of the swine flu also affected the stock market for certain industries. Cruise operator Carnival and Delta Air Lines both fell 14 percent on Monday. Shares of Tyson Foods-the country’s biggest meat producer-dropped 12 percent.  NOTE TO INVESTORS: Are you seriously not aware of repeated episodes of missing passengers, food poisoning and plane crashes?

Some school systems have issued swine flu advisories to parents. Better to be safe than sorry, I suppose, but where was the advisory to parents about the dangers of high fat and processed foods? NOTE TO EDUCATORS: The less panicked a child is, the happier the parent.

As public relations professionals, we’re skilled in acknowledgement, not obsession.   We also recognize that the Nielson ratings sweeps began April 23.  Expect a swine flu reality show by May 20, last day of sweeps.

From our desks high atop a parking lot, we found the following types of Facebook users to be the most popular in these parts. 

10) The Martyrs – They wonder why their friends ignore them. We’ll get back to you after you’ve upped your meds.

9)     The Braggers – Obsessed with the need to share, these users reveal details of their trips to Gstaad, Daytona Raceway or the new SuperTarget. Everybody knows bragging when they see it. Don’t make me hide you.

8)        The Picture People – Bless their hearts, these people actually think their friends are going to view all 427 pictures in one of their 238 different photo albums, from their 2002 Family-Only Christmas to the birth of a new farm animal.  Learn to be selective.  Besides, your visuals are taking up way too much space.

7)   The Gifters – I think so much of you that I sent you a virtual gift. It proves my virtual love for you, my virtual friend. All 786 of you.

6)   The TMIers – Thanks to these “Too Much Informationers”, we all know what they eat (sometimes we even get photos!!), when they have a zit, what their child just upchucked and what color it was.  Trust me, no one – including your real-life human friends – wants to know that much about your life.  

5)   The Philosophers – I post Status Updates, therefore I am. No, really, I am. 

4)   The Best Friends Forevers – How many confirmed users are really your friends?  If you didn’t talk to them in high school, why are you talking to them now? 

3)   The Pick Me Firsters – These are the folks who want to be the first to post breaking news.  If it weren’t for these posters, I know I would be dumber.

2)         The Quizinators – “What shade of taupe are you?”, “What type of 3/16″ metal screw are you?”, or “If you were an Excel chart, how many columns would you have?”.  How about the “If you had a life without FB quizzes, would you want to live?” quiz?  NOTE: See The Picture People regarding courteous use of space.

And the Top Face of Facebook…..

1)      The Shameless Self Promoters – I do it. You do it.  All God’s children do it. We promote our latest products, services, fundraisers, special events, etc.  If you can’t shake down your friends, who can you shake down?  Besides, we just know everyone wants to read our stuff.